2008

2008-02-06

Mandy and I have finally started taking cod liver oil tablets. My knees (particularly the right) have been giving me jip for a while now. Most annoying. The beginnings of the onset of old age perhaps?!

2008-02-04

Crappy weekend. My dad came over. I don't know why I invited him - perhaps so that Mandy could see for herself that I wasn't overstating the point! Or maybe I am still hoping that he will see what a waste of time he has been in my life.

Well, if it was the former, it was a success. We had a huge amount of beer, culminating in Mandy storming off.

My dad got utterly wasted and ended up crashing out on the front door mat. He's 61!

He is such a constant disappointment. Still thinks that he can buy kids off with presents. Kept on about us going to stay with him in London and bringing the kids - not a chance!

2008-01-24

Mandy still not well, but getting there slowly. Starting to feel very down about the money situation. Have literally had no money at all this week. Feeling very low. Very worthless. And Mandy is feeling the same. She feels responsible for the fact that I have run out of money. She's even taken a temporary job at my place. Apart from there not actually being any work that she can do, she absolutely hates it.

James has been out of the country this week and he left nothing at all for her to do. Neither of us feel good about taking money for nothing.

2008-01-11

Mandy been bleeding badly all week and generally very ill. Today is the first day really that she has not been in pain and I think the loss has hit her finally.

She has put a brave face on the disappointment up to now, but I think perhaps the pain was a distraction.

Oddly, I have felt very low today as well.

2008-01-07

Mandy's having trouble with the pregnancy. She's been ill all over the weekend and bleeding - not much, but steadily and for the past few days. Hope all is ok. We're going to the doctors this morning and I suspect we will end up at the hospital.

18:01

As suspected there was a problem and we did end up at the hospital - for an emergency scan. They found an empty sack of fluid where a baby should have been : (

At least she didn't miscarry, I suppose.

2008-01-06

Have been in contact with my dad recently. He sent a card to the old address - didn't even know we were separated and divorced. Not sure why I contacted him - was at the Orangeleaf xmas party, so was probably because I was drunk. Anyway, after maybe 30 text messages, he finally remembered that he has two grand children and asked how they were. I told him they were fine and said there was another on the way. After he had got his head around the fact that I was having them the new one with another woman - he replied with a most bizarre text - one that perhaps betrays how deluded he is about how important he is in my life. Rather than saying "congrats" or such as any normal person would have, he said: "That's fine by me".

What a nutter.

He keeps going on about going to the pub. What a loser.

2008-01-01

us_and_them Well here we go again... I really have to get my act together this year.

I want to write a book - or at least have 200 pages of one
I want to get Iso playable
Must do more painting
And last but not least. I want to master my right hand

And nice-to-haves:

Want to write at least one script to send to the bbc
Get my voice trained up and get in a band at the front!

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